Bocce Ball and Killing Yourself

Today, as I was getting into my car in the parking lot behind the freshmen dorms I saw a group of guys playing bocce ball. Big mistake, because now these three anonymous gentleman are going to receive a bombardment of degradation on my nationally infamous blog.

Bocce ball is for people who are so old that their diapers are out of style. Now, for those of you who know me well you may contend, "Cagney, the All Knowing and All Wise, you have, yourself, participated in the fast pace action of Bocce sportsdom." This is true, I have, but the reason you do (and the only excusable reason for Bocce Ball) is when you're at family gatherings or family vacations and dad and mom or grandma and grandpa are there and it is done as family interaction. It makes sense then. Grandma and grandpa aren't in their Flip-Cup prime anymore; beer pong won't work because your mom and dad don't mess around with beer, they just spent 18 years raising you, they need the hard stuff to numb the pain you have inevitably caused since their life ended 21 years ago when you came into their world.

Especially freshmen? You should be working your little bodies as hard as they can go to make friends (that is pay your fraternity brothers to realize you are just as much of an ass hole as they are) and get in clubs and get good grades and get get get get get.; such is the American way. There is no time for Bocce ball in college. Have faith young freshmen there will be plenty of time for Bocce ball when you become unintelligible and unconscious and are sent away by your children to live in a nursing home......

Quickly, I want to address a political question that has long been debated but I heard today on NPR--that is doctor assisted suicide. Americans have adhered to the Declaration of Independence's creed of the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

I would argue that if you have the right to life then what follows is the implication that you have the right to the lack thereof. If you have the right to liberty then you have the right to the freedom of your own life and death. And, most importantly, if you have the right to the pursuit of happiness and you would be happier to end "this mortal coil," then by-Thomas Jefferson you have the right to want to die.

I do understand that chaos would insue if we let every nutjob who wanted to kill themselves go to the family doctor for a routine suicide. But, would it be that hard to set up a code of standards and reviews to allow people who are terminally ill as classified by trained physicians to acquire the premission to have their suffering ended......I mean you do it for your god damn dog it seems like you would have the courtesy to do it for your fellow man.